Monday, December 31, 2012

2013 New Year's Resolutions

I'm happy to say that for the first time in YEARS I actually managed to keep several of last year's resolutions.  As a reward I'm making a few more for the upcoming year...

1.  Make my yoga practice a more integral part of my life - 2013 will be a yoga-centered year.  I'm setting an intention to work on learning bakasana this year.  I'm going to be reading Stephen Cope's Yoga and the Quest for the True Self starting January 1.  And my hope is that later this summer I'll be able to go on a weekend-long yoga retreat, something I have wanted to do for a decade now.  In August I will be celebrating 12 years of yoga practice and in 2013 I'm going to work on recommitting to it, remembering why it has been so important to me and helping to further my self-discovery with it.

2.  Meet financial goals for this year - something that I failed at last year.  One year from today, I want to be in a better position than I am in now.

3.  Pursue artistic opportunities and career advances that are right for me - there has been a lot of work this year on exactly what this means, and I feel that the direction I am moving in is the right one.  This means taking on fulfilling theater work, expanding my work as an installation artist, and continuing to look for the right teaching position.

4.  Write more - blog more - journal more - several things I have written on the internet this year have had encouraging responses, and I've returned to writing in my personal journal just for myself.  +Travis Bedard bought me a new journal for Christmas so that will continue into next year.  I've also decided that I want to try to write once a week for this blog, and have chosen to use the Oblique Strategies as a jumping off point for different posts.  I've been keeping them in a box a good friend made for me, on a shelf above my desk, under my Sleep No More mask, for a long time now, waiting to figure out a use for them.

5.  Continue the healthy lifestyle I worked so hard on in 2012 into the new year and follow through on my goals - it's been a great year for weight loss, training, and diet, helped a lot by the Get Fit program at UT and our CSA membership with Johnson's Backyard Garden.  In 2013 I will continue on this path and keep working on what I've started.

Friday, November 23, 2012

The Thanksgiving Post

101 Things I Have Been Thankful For This Year (in no particular order, don't whine once I start stream-of-consciousness-thanking and you're not at the top of the list)

1. Life, which has taught me amazing and beautiful and terrifying things this year. That's the best kind of year there is.

2. Crisis and strength, which combined made me make some good decisions about my life, career path, and health that I might not have otherwise made without them.

3. Travis, because I terrify him and drive him absolutely NUTS, and he's still here, and still supports me, and is still his awesome self.

4. The house we moved into a year ago this month and, without ever fully unpacking, made into a home. This has also taught us how little we need the stuff that's still in boxes in the garage.

5. Anna, who dragged me quite against my will into New Experiences this year, without which this year would have been VERY different.

6. The new friends who have become a solid part of my life this year - especially Bob and Kat, I'm so happy to have grown close to you both.

7. Having a job - the three months of unemployment last year nearly drove me insane.

8. Caroline Reck and Glass Half Full Theater for giving me the chance to light "The Orchid Flotilla" - what a beautiful, amazing piece that was.

9. Michael, Abby, and 600 HIGHWAYMEN - and everyone else involved in "This Great Country." 

10. UNH, Deb Kinghorn, and all of my old mentors and professors with whom I got to work again during "Macbeth."

11. Hidden Room Theater and Beth Burns, for the upcoming 2013 adventures that are already in the works.

12. The Fusebox Festival - still my absolute favorite thing about Austin.

13. Becky and Erica, my two oldest and closest friends, who are always willing to jump on the "Sleep No More" bus with me...we will do it again, too.

14. Heather - you've been a GREAT friend this year and such an awesome force for good in my life! Thank you for helping me get to the gym regularly!!

15. Amanda - I am so glad that we've had the opportunity to grow closer this year. Margaritas rule.

16. Will, for always being around, for being another awesome mouth to feed and for giving me the chance to work on "Messenger No. 4" with Cambiare and Travis, too.

17. The cast of "Messenger No. 4," especially those with whom I've become close.

18. Everyone behind "Tis Pity She's a Whore," "Rose Rage," "Faustus," and "Quills," for giving my husband one of the most creative and fruitful years yet.

19. My family, for being my family - in the awesome way that families are there exactly when you need them in the way that you expect.

20. Our Cape Cod trip, which is becoming a tradition in my family that I love.

21. My nieces Cassie and Lexii, and nephew Kavan.

22. My new niece Athena.

23. My OTHER family, the Bedards, for always accepting me and loving me.

24. My cats, who should perhaps be much further up on this list - they really make our home a home, and try real hard to keep us in bed in the mornings. Unless they need to be fed. They're actually quite communicative.

25. My health, for which I've worked so hard off this year. And all of that work on diet and exercise is so completely and totally worth it in the end (or middle, since I'm still in progress).

26. Knowing when to take a break, and actually doing so.

27. Neal Stephenson's "Reamde," which was the one book I read this year that I totally loved, that made me want to spend hours just READING. I had forgotten how great that could feel.

28. Katie Pearl, who continues to support me and our FORESTS project, even when I've been pulled away for an extended period of time.

29. The people in this country who supported Obama in the presidential election. The amount I have been disappointed in many parts of the population in the past year can't be overstated, neither can the fear I truly had for my rights as a woman. Thank you for not putting the other guy in charge of my body.

30. Maura - for reminding me that there are people out there who have always known me and always understood what I was trying to say. You did more for me over one cup of tea than you can even know.

31. Stacy - for pointing out that we now HAVE to have an annual reunion in October (and next year you're flying to me!).

32. Katie (again), David, and Susan, for your awesome support while I embark on a new path in my career.

33. Daphne - you are AWESOME, and seriously an inspiration, and my fingers are crossed that you'll be here to assist in January.

34. For people and experiences that challenge me. For the things this year that have pushed me as an individual, physically and psychologically and emotionally. I hope that there are more of you to come in 2013.

35. Bob, for the experiences you've shared with me this year.

36. My lack of faith in superstition, magic, or religion of any kind. I know that to many this might seem like something that would make one sad, but I truly believe that the most beautiful way to experience the world and life is for exactly what it is and what it presents, for the meaning and truth that exists because we choose for it to exist, for the love that I feel for people and places knowing that every moment I spend with them is important and special, knowing that I need to treasure them for who and what they are now, because there is nothing else.

37. Erica (again) - for pushing me and never ceasing to believe in me, and for being my biggest cheerleader while I lost weight and got healthy.

38. Johnson's Backyard Garden - we are having so much vegetable-filled fun shaping our meals around what's local and seasonal and given to us in our CSA box each week. It's constantly an adventure.

39. The Wachowskis and Tom Twyker, for taking one of my favorite novels and doing it serious justice and beauty on screen. It really could easily have been a train wreck, and I'm grateful that it was brilliant instead.

40. Punchdrunk and "Sleep No More," for continuing to show me that there is theater out there that truly creates wonder for me, art that actually changes my life.

41. Utopia, TX, for a MUCH needed escape weekend.

42. The back porch and frame that sits under my studio window, for supporting me while I did a stupid thing and tried to hang lights from our backyard tree for Travis's birthday. The lights look gorgeous, and I didn't die.

43. Running. Couch 2 5K. The amount of awesome stress relief I get from it is incredible.

44. Libby, whose Sunday morning Vinyasa class has been the best yogic thing to happen to me in years.

45. Yoga, for being a touchstone in my life for 11 years.

46. The people and states that have come out in strong support of marriage equality this year.

47. The sounds of Travis and Will playing video games downstairs while I listen to Sufjan Stevens upstairs, knowing it's my favorite time of year and I love my life more than ever.

48. My financial state - it's still a nightmare, but one I continue to work through, and one I will happily choose over what most of the world experiences every day.

49. The knowledge that Jason deCaires Taylor's work is out there, under the sea, waiting for me to visit it someday soon.

50. Flowers sent to me on opening nights in another state.

51. The fact that this list is halfway done, and there is more pie to be eaten downstairs.

52. My marriage, which is arguably the most important thing in my life, and the knowledge that I will never stop working to make it a happy and long one.

53. Kathryn Yu, for curating the definitive "Sleep No More" playlist.

54. Scorched the Snake, for feeding my obsession daily.

55. Careena Melia, for making my day anytime I knew she'd read something I tweeted. And without whom this year might not have happened in the way it did at all. And for making me Hecate's bitch, now and forever.

56. Going from 196 to 155 in a way that is healthy, sustainable, and a hell of a lot of work.

57. Walking downstairs to hear the following sentence: "Travis just did an AMAZING ribbon routine!"

58. CHRISTMAS. God I love Christmas. There is really not a better way to end any year.

59. People who bring me rocks from Norway.

60. Beckie0, who probably doesn't want to be referred to in that way, but who continues to remain a source of inspiration to me.

61. New and old friends who stay. I had the misfortune to invest a lot of time and energy in a friendship this year, only to have it inexplicably taken from me. This is the kind of thing that has kept me in the past from forming close friendships with new people I meet, but I have (so far) had far more stay than leave this year, and that renews my belief that there are people who care and who are willing to put in the time and effort to get to know me, even when I make it difficult.

62. My sister, for (almost) always following my book recommendations, and for being a great friend this year.

63. My brother-in-law, for some of the funniest memories of the year (Allen, if you need a reminder of those memories, find me and we'll talk).

64. My dad, for always being my dad, even when I don't do the things that he knows would lead to a more stable, happy life.

65. Ziplining. I mean, seriously. That was one of the BEST nights of the year.

66. Enchanted Rock, which I finally hiked this summer!

67. The Exchange Artists for an absolutely beautiful piece in "The Man Who Planted Trees."

68. Jon Stewart, for helping me intake the news without going insane.

69. Apple pie.

70. Oreo milkshakes.

71. Gob Squad, for giving me a night of theater that was pure unadulterated child-like JOY.

72. Ice cream, especially mint chocolate chip, peanut butter cup, Cherry Garcia, and Amy's white chocolate. And, of course, watermelon sherbet.

73. Game and waffle night with friends. Cards Against Humanity. Pictionary played on the Wii.

74. Cold mornings when I wake up with Asha curled up next to me, Travis asleep on the other side, and the knowledge that I don't have to get up. This is even better if I took Advil PM the night before. 

75. Coffee. You came into my life in a time of crisis when I took on too much work in 2008, and I can't imagine my life without you today.

76. Really, really good grapefruit.

77. Indian food with good friends.

78. Swimming in the Sabinal River at sunset with Travis.

79. Being off the ridiculous medication I was on for most of last year, and seeing how unhealthy it was making me.

80. Battlestar Galactica: Blood and Chrome.

81. Everyone who turned out to keep Todd Akin, Richard Mourdock, and other rape apologists out of Congress this year.

82. My NYC friends, who made it through Sandy mostly unscathed.

83. The Bottle Babies at APA - I'll be back in the spring.

84. The Get Fit program at UT, for getting me in the habit of going to the gym three days a week (including one day spent in the dreaded weight room).

85. The week and a half break I have coming up in December as a UT employee - seriously, the BEST thing about working for the University.

86. The turtle pond on campus, for giving me a daily mental break.

87. Kay, for being the amazing friend she is and keeping me connected to my mom.

88. Long hot baths on Friday nights while listening to Beth Orton. 

89. Finally having a grown-up bed!

90. The morning routine of checking my email while Sansa purrs on my lap.

91. Brie cheese.

92. Content, and the nights when we go out for drinks together.

93. Rosie Thomas's "Kite Song." 

94. Watching Travis grill for a group of his friends on his birthday.

95. Becky - because I don't think you're on this list by yourself yet, and you have no idea how much you mean to me.

96. Watching Travis and Allen grilling my family dinner in the pouring rain - one of the best meals I've ever had.

97. Paula, who has helped me through a LOT this year.

98. People who update their amazon wishlists before the Christmas season starts (hint, hint).

99. My love for books, even when I have a year where I read very few good ones - loving reading has always been something I've treasured and I hope I never lose it.

100. Loving adventure, and being willing to do the things that scare me - the ability to recognize that these things are an integral part of a life well-lived.

101. Life, in all its uncertainty about what the next year holds - I can't wait for more.

Monday, September 24, 2012

I know where the ring is NOT...

Last night was my second trip to the McKittrick Hotel and "Sleep No More" (first trip described in brief here).  Living in Texas makes seeing this show repeatedly a challenge, so even though I'm terribly obsessed with it I've only managed to actually see it twice.  I know that if I lived closer, that number would be much higher by now, and after last night I know I need to go back again.

I went with two of my oldest and closest friends who had both seen the show already.  As we rode the subway before the show, we compared notes from our previous visits to the McKittrick and tried to determine WHAT was on WHICH floor and how each one of us wanted to proceed.  I had been tossing around a couple of ideas for how I would spend my time - eventually these boiled down into Three Stated Sleep No More Goals: I really wanted to check out the forest and hut on the 5th floor, because last time I was there I was unable to get to it for some reason; I wanted to go through the Narnia closet; and of course I wanted to be chosen for the most impossible task of all.

One thing I was really afraid of on my return visit was the attitude of the audience.  I've heard horror stories about how pushy and aggressive they've become and was nervous that this would ruin my experience.  What I witnessed was occasional pushy annoying people, but I still managed to enjoy the show.

We were the first to arrive and were so excited to be there early.  Once inside Manderley I drank absinthe and we sat and waited for our cards to be called (we were aces - first ones in).  At the elevator I saw a few people intentionally hanging back in the hopes that they'd be closest to the door when it opened on the 6th floor.  One of my friends made a very sincere attempt to be that exact person, but was moved aside by the elevator operator for another person to have that experience.  We were then let off on the 5th floor and separated, and my explorations began.

I walked through the room with all of the beds and wandered eventually into the room with the bathtubs.  The nurse was standing in the concrete window above one of the tubs that looked out into the forest maze.  She danced there briefly, then went through the window and into the maze, and I followed her.  Shortly afterward I watched her cut apart a page from a book at her desk when a change in the sound summoned her back to the forest.  I chased her through the trees along with several other audience members and watched her encounters with the Matron in the hut.  Last time I was at the show, I had not spent a lot of time following actors and it was great to be right up close to these intense moments.  I also had completely missed the forest before and just last week a friend of mine was pulled into the Matron's 1:1, so exploring the forest and seeing the hut was the first of my three stated goals for this Sleep No More excursion.

I must have wandered down to the 4th floor next and eventually followed Agnes Naismith into her bedroom.  I watched her remove makeup, stare at the photo of her sister and eventually fall asleep.  And when she eventually exited the room, I followed her through the Narnia wardrobe (thus completing the second of my three stated goals for the evening).  Later on I picked up Agnes's trail again, witnessed her receive the locket from Hecate with the note that read "WE HAVE HER," saw her dance with the Tailor and steal money from him.    And I continued to wander around Gallow Green - to be honest, the crowds of people that follow the main characters around kind of drive me nuts.

Now, the 3rd of my three stated goals was honestly a JOKE.  I had absolutely zero intention of being sent on a quest for Hecate's ring, and I know how much of a fool's errand that is just from being the SNM fangirl that I am.  But I got "lucky," and somehow managed to walk into the replica Manderley bar AT THE RIGHT FREAKING TIME, and within five seconds of entering, Hecate's hand was around my throat (my BFF later said that I must have a sign on my face that says "HECATE TAKE ME!" since not only was that my second 1:1 with Hecate, but I had not been in the room long enough to be following her or attempting to be chosen by her, it just happened).  She stared intensely at my eyes and touched my face, then took me by the hand and ran through the crowd to her lair.  At the door she paused and embraced me, and told me to wait because she had something for me.  So, I did, and wondered if I'd just happened to get the same 1:1 as I had last year.  Once her door was shut and locked several of the audience members that had followed us tried to open it, but I just stood and waited.  Eventually she opened the door a crack, took my hand and pulled me inside.  Hecate spends a lot of time with her hands on you, and there's a forcefulness to it - she PULLS me through the crowd and through the door, after which she GRIPPED my arms while standing behind me and moved me in front of her desk.  Nothing really nice or gentle or here-move-this-way-why-don't-you about what she does.  She peeled back my mask and looked into my eyes, and started pressing on my face, pushing on my cheekbones and moving the skin away from the eyes.  She then reached down and picked up a vial that was on her desk, and made me drink from it (tears).  I was kind of clumsy and dribbled some onto my shirt, and then giggled at my own ineptness before she had her hands on my arms again, moving me to the back of her lair.  She walked me backwards into the pitch blackness and began her story "once upon a time..." - the one about the boy lost in the woods and the old woman and the ring.  Wish I could tell you details about this story, but she PUSHED ME UP AGAINST THE WALL in that dark room and, well, I find that distracting.  Actually several things she did were distracting, but I'm weird that way.  She started wailing, before grabbing me and whispering in my ear "FIND MY RING, I KNOW YOU KNOW WHERE IT IS."  Um.  No, actually I don't.  (I sort of imagined Louis CK in that moment.)  A mask was put on my face and I was pushed out of her lair into the apothecary, out of breath and kind of terrified and GODDAMMIT, now I had to find the RING.

This basically killed my next two hours.  The third stated Sleep No More goal was to find Hecate's ring, and now I'd been tasked with it.  I couldn't afford to find other characters, follow them around, etc.  The first thing I did was head back up to the 5th floor, because all I could remember from the very blurry memories of the story was something about a forest and an old woman who lived there.  I wandered around up there for awhile, looking for said ring.  Looking for cracks it could have fallen through (this was part of the story).  Looking for anywhere that it might be hiding.  And I saw nothing.  I decided to head to the 3rd floor and see if anything there inspired me to investigate.  I encountered Lady Macduff very briefly, wandered around her apartments and then wandered through the ruined courtyard (looking for cracks or a grate or something), saw that the scene with the Macbeths and the  bathtub was going on but...no time for that, I had a ring to find (never mind that I knew full well I was NOT going to find this ring).  Since I had never made it past the 3rd floor, I took this opportunity to wander down to the lower floors and briefly check them out.  At some point I was digging through dirt inside chests.  No, seriously, I was just grasping at straws.  I had at this point decided that the ring wouldn't be out in the open and then saw the chests of dirt and spent some time there.

I decided to head back up to Gallow Green, because there is just so much going on there I thought I might continue to find other places that inspired me to look.  And that's when I decided that the ring HAD to be in the Detective's office.  HAD TO.  Because that's where lost things go, right?  And that's how I lost maybe an hour, going through every inch of the detective agency (there are a LOT of drawers with STUFF in them).  At one point I thought I had found a ring box and my heart stopped, but no ring inside.  I must have looked absolutely insane to any other audience member who went in there - who on earth is this woman digging through every single drawer of "evidence?"

None of these decisions - it's in the dirt! it's in the detective agency! - came from anything other than me just looking for SOMETHING that inspired me to look closer.  I could barely remember the original story, which I can only assume held some important clues, and I also knew that the damn thing was obviously not out in plain sight, as only a handful of people have ever successfully found it.  And it might very well have been in one of those chests of dirt or in one of the drawers of the detective agency.  Hell it might have been found and taken by another audience member for all I know.  But I never found it.

At this point I wandered back into the replica Manderley just in time for the beginning of the rave/orgy.  Since I had only seen the tail end of this last time I decided to stay and watch the whole thing.  Since I'm currently lighting "Macbeth" at the University of New Hampshire and have read and reread the script many times in the last few months, it was awesome to be able to pick out pieces of the witches' prophecies throughout the rave.  When it was over, I turned and followed Boy Witch to the bathroom, where I was one of the lucky people who helped him to get dress (and the one who couldn't quickly unbutton his shirt to save her life).  And at that point I headed down to the ballroom for the final moments...

Yeah.  Clearly, I have to go back.


Friday, April 6, 2012

"Orchid Flotilla" Reviews

I just wanted to share a couple of great reviews that we've received for "The Orchid Flotilla:"

From Culturemap Austin: 

And from Austin Examiner:
Orchid Flotilla: Surreal and awe-inspiring look at life, love, birth, and death


And this would be my favorite part from the Examiner review: 

"The beauty of the flotilla is highlighted by the stunning lighting work by Megan Reilly, who follows the flow of the day, from the rich, deep shadows of morning to the glaring light of noon, and everything in between. Her true skill is shown later, when a huge storm springs up, brought to vivid life by her flashes of brilliant white lights."

Monday, March 12, 2012

Connectivity

I met this week with a director with whom I'm hoping to work on an upcoming project.  After talking about the project the conversation drifted around and at one point landed on the topic of social media.

I'm pretty well plugged in to everything.  A friend asked me if I chatted on yahoo and I think my response was "I everything."  I'm nowhere near the level of connectivity that Travis has, but I'm still on several social networking sites including Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr, and I have my own websites and blogs.  I also carry an iPhone around with me wherever I go, and can check email as well as all other sites at any point during the day.  Some of this is really and truly amazing.  Because I'm able to connect so frequently to so many people, I am constantly being introduced to new ideas and art.  I'm aware of movies that I never would have otherwise known about and have participated in a few really fun online communities and activities (including, my personal favorite, being a member of Cloudmakers).

But I also feel inundated constantly with tons of useless information, and I find this makes it difficult for me to mentally relax and stay present.  And maybe this gets in the way of creativity.  It's a gorgeous day outside, the perfect day for sitting out on the lawn during lunch and reading (provided I didn't mind getting lawn stuff on my jeans).  What am I doing instead?  Writing this.

I have to wonder where the balance between the two exists, and where on that continuum lies the greatest potential for me.  Am I constantly being exposed to new ideas, or constantly being flooded with too much information?  Do I need to have the time and space to have a clear mind in order to process what I take in?  When I look at different projects I've taken on, there are definitely ones where an immersion in the process early on paid off, and then there are others that were equally if not more successful despite the last minute, impromptu creative energy that was poured into them in a short period of time. 

After talking with that director I'm considering just trying to have one day per week - say, Sundays - be internet and social media free.  Is that even possible anymore?  I don't just mean "possible" in terms of "can it be done" but also "should it be done."  Obviously when I'm heading into tech for a show (and next week will be tech for "The Orchid Flotilla") there's no way I could take a day off from my phone and my computer.  Aside from that, though, I don't know that I remember a single time when something I received in email couldn't wait one day.  After this show is open, it might just be worth trying it as an experiment for one or two weekends. 

There are so many other things that I think might be getting passed over in my life because of how plugged in I am.  I don't remember the last time I spent any significant amount of time outside.  In a couple of weeks I'm going to take a Saturday and just work on cleaning up our backyard, planting flowers and moving a picnic table onto our deck.  I'm looking for ways to make it easier for me to do things that get overlooked. 

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Want Travis to tattoo your name on his leg?

Currently I'm in tech for two shows, "Phineas" with Paper Moon Rep and "Messenger No. 4" with Cambiare Productions.  The actual titles for these shows are considerably longer than I care to type, so if you're interested in learning more, clicky the links.  Two very different shows, both well worth seeing and I will be so, so glad once they are open!

Cambiare Productions is the theater company started by my partner, Travis Bedard, and friends.  Yesterday Travis and Cambiare created a Kickstarter page for the project and in case anyone who read this blog after googling "rooney mara" and "naked" is interested in supporting some of the work I'm involved in, here it is:

Kickstarter: Messenger No. 4 (or... How to Survive A Greek Tragedy)

As with all Kickstarter campaigns, donations of any amount are welcome, even if it's only $1.  And donations at different levels will be rewarded!   In a stunning of move of "I Don't Have To Ask My Wife's Opinion On Anything," Travis has generously offered to tattoo the name of anyone backing the project with a donation of over $500.   I will happily record the entire painful process and post it here for your enjoyment.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

That sigh of relief you heard coming from south Austin? That was me.


Like most artists I work a day job.  Or, at least, I did.  I lost my day job in November and have been unemployed since then.

You would think, as I did, that being unemployed would lead to huge bouts of creative inspiration and productivity.  After all, you suddenly have eight extra hours per day to devote to all those projects.  That's not what happens.

Here is a list of what you ACTUALLY devote your time to:

Sitting on the couch.
Watching entire seasons of any TV show you can stand.
Job hunting.
Getting depressed over job hunting.
Going into therapy over job hunting.
More job hunting.
Restarting random cross stitch projects you forgot about years ago.
Playing computer games.
Getting carpal tunnel while playing Mario Kart.
Reading lots of mindless books.  Romances.  Porn.  Fluff.  Not the books that are sitting on your shelf, waiting to be read.
Reading LOTS of internet.
Wondering how long it will be before you start speaking the same language as the cats.
Watching dishes pile up on the counter.
Hating temp agencies.
Believing you could do a more effective job search if you walked out your front door and threw a handful of resumes into the street.
More job hunting.
Contemplating what chewing off your own foot feels like.
Contemplating what your foot tastes like.
Breaking the bathtub.
Making waffles.
Staring at the wall and imagining what it will look like once your head has managed to bash all the way through it.
Wondering how long it would take Travis to notice any cats added to the house.
Panicking.  And panicking.  And panicking.  Checking your supply of xanax and wondering if it will be enough.
Breaking your websites, throwing a tantrum and deciding you'd rather pay a friend to fix them than try to do it yourself because AFTER TWELVE WEEKS OF DOING ALL OF THE ABOVE, I HAVE NO PATIENCE, NO ATTENTION SPAN TO DEVOTE TO MINOR THINGS LIKE BROKEN WEBSITES.

My brain has just had it.

Day jobs can be wonderful, freeing things, and I had no true appreciation of this until I didn't have one.  Today, I got a job.  Hallefreakinlujah.  And almost immediately found the energy to work on "Phineas," "Messenger No. 4" and "The Orchid Flotilla."  Hello, energy.  Been awhile.  I'm no longer wasting you on wondering if I will be employed by March.  Or April.  Or May.

Now I just hope that my sleep schedule will straighten itself out.  I have a really messed up sleep cycle/pattern thing to begin with, in that I actually don't cycle at all and get very very little REM sleep.  Lately, though, sleeping at ALL has been a nightmare (a waking one, of course).  I sleep in two hour increments, tops.  And once I wake up after 4am, that's it, I'm up.  No amount of rest, lack of sugar, caffeine, herbal tea, sleep drugs, warm baths, disconnection from the internet helps me to sleep through the night.  I am so, so tired.

Yay job!  Starting Monday I will be working in the College of Natural Sciences at UT - back on campus, which was what I wanted.

Notes from Dublin: Rambling, Emotional, Barely Coherent.

This has been a strange two weeks to be in another country, especially one that isn't a major world power. Ireland doesn't have the ...