Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Like most artists I work a day job. Or, at least, I did. I lost my day job in November and have been unemployed since then.
You would think, as I did, that being unemployed would lead to huge bouts of creative inspiration and productivity. After all, you suddenly have eight extra hours per day to devote to all those projects. That's not what happens.
Here is a list of what you ACTUALLY devote your time to:
Sitting on the couch.
Watching entire seasons of any TV show you can stand.
Getting depressed over job hunting.
Going into therapy over job hunting.
More job hunting.
Restarting random cross stitch projects you forgot about years ago.
Playing computer games.
Getting carpal tunnel while playing Mario Kart.
Reading lots of mindless books. Romances. Porn. Fluff. Not the books that are sitting on your shelf, waiting to be read.
Reading LOTS of internet.
Wondering how long it will be before you start speaking the same language as the cats.
Watching dishes pile up on the counter.
Hating temp agencies.
Believing you could do a more effective job search if you walked out your front door and threw a handful of resumes into the street.
More job hunting.
Contemplating what chewing off your own foot feels like.
Contemplating what your foot tastes like.
Breaking the bathtub.
Staring at the wall and imagining what it will look like once your head has managed to bash all the way through it.
Wondering how long it would take Travis to notice any cats added to the house.
Panicking. And panicking. And panicking. Checking your supply of xanax and wondering if it will be enough.
Breaking your websites, throwing a tantrum and deciding you'd rather pay a friend to fix them than try to do it yourself because AFTER TWELVE WEEKS OF DOING ALL OF THE ABOVE, I HAVE NO PATIENCE, NO ATTENTION SPAN TO DEVOTE TO MINOR THINGS LIKE BROKEN WEBSITES.
My brain has just had it.
Day jobs can be wonderful, freeing things, and I had no true appreciation of this until I didn't have one. Today, I got a job. Hallefreakinlujah. And almost immediately found the energy to work on "Phineas," "Messenger No. 4" and "The Orchid Flotilla." Hello, energy. Been awhile. I'm no longer wasting you on wondering if I will be employed by March. Or April. Or May.
Now I just hope that my sleep schedule will straighten itself out. I have a really messed up sleep cycle/pattern thing to begin with, in that I actually don't cycle at all and get very very little REM sleep. Lately, though, sleeping at ALL has been a nightmare (a waking one, of course). I sleep in two hour increments, tops. And once I wake up after 4am, that's it, I'm up. No amount of rest, lack of sugar, caffeine, herbal tea, sleep drugs, warm baths, disconnection from the internet helps me to sleep through the night. I am so, so tired.
Yay job! Starting Monday I will be working in the College of Natural Sciences at UT - back on campus, which was what I wanted.